Homestead Goals for 2017

This year we are dedicating all our time and resources to getting our homestead working and functional. We ended the 2016 year with a 20 bale hay delivery and 2 calves.

We have many goals for this year, lots of physical labor and building. This week alone we have done some more work on the calf pen and picked up the wood to finish out the chicken coop. All the framing was done with repurposed wood. Also a big concern and push to get the coop finished here very soon as the coyotes and stray dogs are bad this time of year. We need to make sure our flock is safe!

 So the hopes are to have the pig tiller and chicken coop finished this week.

We have 19 of the 25 chickens we want to have for this year already.

Today Buttercup and Brisket got a new grain and hay feeder installed. They love it!

This beautiful mare has also joined the farm. My oldest daughter has dubbed her Angel. She is sure a gorgeous girl and a nice trail horse. We hope to do a lot more ridding this year.

One of our family goals for this year is to go camping more. We plan to do just that! I made reservations for one weekend coming up this month at a state park not too far from us!

Our list of veggies to garden this year is carrots, green beans, okra, tomatoes, and peppers. Fruits that will be planted are strawberries, orange, lemon, and elderberry.

I hope y'all have had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!

Christmas List- Oh how times have changed

In a group on Facebook, that I am apart of, they were talking about Christmas wish lists. I started thinking about what I wanted for Christmas and how things have changed over the years. People listing luxury items and some functional things. In high school I wanted things like a specific pair of jeans, a CD from my at the time favorite band, vans, headphones, etc... I have my children's Christmas list that are full of things like the latest toy on TV and something cool one of their friends have at school.

A lot in my life has changed from those days, a lot has changed in the last 2 years alone. Yes we have been at the farm now for just over two years, but nothing seemed to progress.

In the last 6 months things have fallen apart and rebuilt differently than before making way for some hope, some progress. We have made some actual friends here now, not ones who said one thing and then did another. We were in a bad accident that totalled our truck and unfortunately the other driver didn't make it. Our prayers are with his family. My cousin has come to live with us on the farm and has turned out to be a big help. I have a great boss for my weekend job and the local farmers/ranchers have kept Michael busy. My oldest son has had a lot better school year and played football. My girls enjoyed cheer, but one of my girls grades suffered a little so we will have to reevaluate for next year.

We are doing a lot of under brush clearing, we have already started on fencing the rest of our property in, a barn will be going in soon, we have bees, rabbits, chickens, horses, pigs, and soon a few cows will be added. A garden, the way I wanted it, is being put in for spring this year with cold frames around the perimeter. A heater was put in the bathroom and a shower is being piped in. We fixed the majority of the wiring in the house as well. My porch has been turned into a greenhouse to save my more tropical sapling from winter.  We also have a huge delivery of hay coming in next week. We are in the middle of training a miniature to pull a wagon. In return we will get a wagon of our own to train our miniature to pull. We had two family heirloom children saddles repaired back to riding condition as well so we excited to see our children get a chance to use them.

So that brings us back to my wish list for Christmas this year. I wish for insulated work gloves, winter socks, a vacuum sealer with bags, a DSLR camera, and piping for my wood burning stove. I know the DSLR camera is highly unlikely as it has been on my list for years now, but I am hopeful for the rest and my fingers are crossed!

Teen rant

Ready for a rant??? Teen pregnancy! (I'll give some of y'all a moment to shutter or roll your eyes which ever you prefer) I'm very much an advocate of waiting until you are married. Teenagers should NOT being having sex. They are young, hormonal, and have NO idea what they are getting themselves into!!!!! For most teens it's really just the thrill of sneaking around and the possibility of getting caught. If this is some of you younger friend's on my Facebook take some advice here please. Take up a sport, hunting, off roading, rollerblading, hiking, zip lining, performing arts, something else. You will get so much more out of it. Most teenage relationships don't last and then you will just feel empty, used, and angry plus other possible consequences. Before anyone yells and stomps their feet at me... I did say most. Some people beat the odds, does the unconventional thing, and lives happily ever after... If that's you congratulations. Now I'm sure their will be that other person that reads this and goes. Whatever chick, you have no idea what you are talking about. I am a statistic. I came from an upper middle class family. I went to a decent school. I had great friends. I was involved in the school and sports. I was smart enough to have been able to pass with flying colors. I was however an angry rebellious teenager. I skipped school a lot, snuck out, stayed up late, and slept in a lot. You couldn't tell me anything or make me do anything that I didn't want to do. I got pregnant and had my first baby at 17. I dropped out of school. I was homeless. I worked in a bar then fast food. Had places to live and then didn't. Had no support system. Had a bad relationship. Had very few real friends. Had my second baby at 19. I finally got up the courage to change my life. I ended the bad relationship, worked my rear end off to fix the bridges I burned. I went home where I knew we would have a support system, a roof, beds, food, and clean clothes. I found real love. I also had the chance to finish high school at 21 while 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child. My kids and I got a second chance. I sat in that classroom a lot when I went back to school and found myself wanting to cry just listening to the younger students there. We were the "at risk" students. A lot of them really didn't know what that meant. They just knew that they had jobs that conflicted with school, or they were pregnant, or that they could hurry up and finish high school faster there so they didn't have to stay with their parents anymore who were always trying to tell them how to live their lives. They thought I was their ages 15-17. They thought I was pregnant with my first baby until one day I signed myself out of school to take my oldest daughter to the doctor then stopped by on the way back after leaving my cell phone there accidently. They were even shocked that I had two kids in tow, I could sign myself in and out of school, was divorced, and pregnant with my third child. It really through them for a loop. Then it threw me for one. Girls asking me how much I get for child support, who was my baby's daddy if I was divorced, if my parents took care of my kids while I was at school or work. And so many other questions. They were living in the land of milk and cookies. I envied them. They were going to graduate on time while mommy and daddy took care of their baby and supported them. They got jobs so they could go to the movies and buy name brand clothes. They were the fade that teen pregnancy had/has become. Regardless we were all a statistic. These people thought it was hard when they really had it made. I had some people I knew back then that had a different story though. They had a story a lot like mine. Sad, lonely stories of being abandoned, abused, hungry, homeless, no support, no help, it feels like drowning over and over again.I wish I could be now the support those girls needed back then. How different our lives would be if we had had that. Sometimes being a statistic hurts. I wish I had an actual education. I didn't value it back then. I would have stayed home and would have let my parents help me. I wouldn't have a lot of the issues I have had. I would have never know what it felt like to not eat for days so that I knew my children could eat. I would have never known what it feels like to live in your car when there is a few inches of snow on the ground.

The Lonely Pepsi

The Lonely Pepsi

For a week now there has been a single lonely pepsi sitting on the table in my dinning room... I clean daily, but just havent remove it. You see, no one that currently lives here drinks pepsi. I think I leave it there for memories sake. Such a trivial, insignificant thing most would think, but I kind of like it. 

The night of December 3rd was the last night Michael would be home before he had to go back to Afghanistan to do his job, his duty to our country and our family. We ate dinner that night standing around the small table while mom and the kids sat. Us sipping the drinks I made for him, Yoana, and myself, pineapple juice (yes heather you read that right pineapple juice, I bet I atleast got a smile out of you), orange juice, and coconut rum. Of course I was anticipating him leaving and my drink was stronger then everyone else. Michael had just sat his unopened pepsi down on the table when I appeared with our drinks. We ate and drank and then as we were finishing Yoana left to go pick up her brother from some sports thing... I think... It was ice cold that night.

As soon as Yoana left we retreated to the outdoor hot tub. Thank you mom for taking on all 3 of my darling little brats. I admire your courage lol. We spent probably a good hour playing in the water and enjoying each others company on our last night together until this summer when he returns to us. We laughed so much that night both our sides hurt. A few times he laughed so hard I was afraid he was going to go under and drown (not real). Then the propane heater got too hot and put a damper on our evening but even through shivering had fun daring each other to get out of the pool into the freezing cold air to check on the heater... lol I love you baby... he did it not me... brrrr... it was cold. 

We finally got out of the now cold water to snuggle up on the couch together with some hot chocolate and old episodes of the nanny until we fell asleep. 

He woke me at 3:30 am, telling me he had already finished packing his stuff into the truck and said his goodbye to the kids that it was time to go the airport to drop him off. Brainlessly still wearing my black CCC youth group shirt and gray boxers slipped on my moms ugly pink flip flops and climbed into the truck. We stopped for gas and then without speaking drove to the Harlingen airport. 

As we pulled into the airport it really hit me he was leaving again and I teared up. He sat in the parking lot looking at me for a few then kissed me and with a single tear escaping from his eye said remember baby I love only you and you have the hardest job in the Army, but you have to be strong for all of us. He kissed me again and said he had to go get his ticket and make it to his gate. I nodded and said I love you. Without any other words he grabbed his bag and left. I sat and watched him walk away. Every other time he left he never looked back, but this time as he reached the big arch in the opening of the ticket terminal he did, but only for a momment... I never felt his love more then right then when he simply looked back at me. I considered getting out and running up to him for one more hug. I knew it would only make it harder to watch him leave though. I broke down into a fit of tears and watched him walk all the way up to the ticket counter before driving away.

The lady at the parking lot exit asked me if I was ok as I handed her my parking ticket. I told her I just had to drop off my husband so that he could go back to Afghanistan. She looked sad as I said that and said Im so sorry, may God bless you both and tell him Thank you for me. I said I would and thanked her as I drove away. I drove by the Target that 2 week earlier he surprised me and Kayley at. It was the lonliest drive home, but I was filed with pride and love for my baby.

Upon returning home I was restless. almost 2 hours later after changing into his shirt and cuddling our daughter I finally fell asleep. Sara woke me 45mins later with a "Mama, where's Michael" "He had to go back to the Army baby" "Like Grampa and my uncle" "yes baby, but he went to Afghanistan not Iraq" "wheres that?" "far away baby" "mama dont cry I love you" I love you too baby" I leaned over to hug her and noticed his pepsi still sitting on the table from the night before. My mind replayed what it remembered took place the night before all centered around Michael's pepsi and I cried. 

We were so happy we got to see or talk to everyone we did while Michael was home and if we missed you I hope we get to see or hear from you next time we are all home together this summer. 

~JessyLynn 

I wrote this December 10, 2009

Old Red

After days like today I miss a dear companion of mine from my childhood. She has passed on since those blissful days, but we sure did have fun, went through so much, and trusted each other.

I miss those carefree days with my greatest sidekick old Red Dog. 15 years ago we were both in the best part of our lives. We would have spent today running through the orchards, chasing rabbits in the brush, or exploring an abandoned building. Just her and I in nature doing what we wanted. Many times we would sit by the pond behind the house watching ducks and fish, as she listened encouragingly to all my accomplishments, joys, sorrows and pains. She'd sit there with me as I poured my heart out to God. She would run and jump for joy when I was happy dancing around. Even when I was mad and pushed her a way she was understanding and loving when I was ready for her company again.

Today I wish you were with me old Red Dog. You got me through some pretty harsh times in my life like no one else could. I wish I could hug you and sit at that pond with you one more time. Thank you dear friend, there will never be any replacing you. One day I will see you again and we will run through the clouds together.

Home on the ranch.

Here at the Rocking GJ things are coming along slowly. We have been working on my in law's house so we can finish getting them moved, so we can start fixing up our cabin and building pens for the animals. I'm hoping to get started on that before fall really hits.

School started last week for my oldest three. The mornings are a lot earlier for us now. We are up by 4:45am getting ready then off to the bus stop by 6:10am. They seem to like their classes so far and I pray they all flourish. They don't really comprehend yet that they will graduate high school with most of these kids now because we aren't going anywhere.

We are still looking for work, but very hopeful we find something soon, very soon. We have phone bills, truck payments, and utilities that will be due, not to mention food, and all our resources are now tapped out. Pray something presents itself as soon as possible.

In adjacent to working on my in law's house, we have worked out a deal with a woman who runs a rescue for work in trade for goods that we need for our cabin, flooring, tiles, paint, etc. I am hoping we can also get a wood burning stove before it gets too cold here.

Not that we have seen much of a break from the heat here in central Texas, but my mind has already left summer behind and is preparing for cooler temperatures. I must prepare the children, cabin, and animals for it before the temperature drops. Luckily we purchased thick coats for the children at the end of the season last year when we found carhart like coats at 60% off. We were able to get them for roughly $17 each. Of course we bought them in bigger sizes than was needed at the time.

My children are seeming to adjust well to rural life so far. This week we are focusing on finishing the bathroom for my in laws. Next week I really want to set up a place for the kids to play that is all theirs. Ideally we will pull out all the underbrush, clean up the area from trash and fallen limbs, move the picnic table for them to be able to use and paint it with chalkboard paint, put up the swing set, and build a small fence possibly out of wooden pallets. At some point it would be nice to build them a fort to play in and store their outside toys in.

We walked around the front half of the property, which is where we are going to put most of our projects being that it is close to our cabin. It is beautiful and has a lot of potential, but needs a lot of work.

My love had a job interview this past Saturday and I am hopeful that I receive a call back today about a job. However we have more applications out and will be putting more in since nothing is definite yet.

A lot of people probably think I have forgotten about them or ignoring them. This is not the case and you are very much on my mind. Currently working is going on from sun up to sun down. Most of the time I have to make non-business calls is before 7am or after 9pm. So please don't take my silence offensive. I still love you very much.

Until next time we will be here living life Off the path, around a corner, and down a dirt road.

He fought for me

While I am an Army wife, granddaughter, sister, and cousin to many branches of service this entry is for my father and America.

Happy fourth of July to all my readers that still believe in the country that so many of our beloved citizens fought and or died for.

Here we are, my children and I at my parents house playing outside with my mother in the garden, drinking coffee. Later we will play in the pool, eat a few burgers, and watch fireworks. As a child I was kind of irritated every fourth of July because my dad never took part in our activities longer than a few minutes. Why did he not want to be part of our lives? Why did he always hide from us? Most holidays were like this.

I get it now daddy. You went to war more than once for your family and country. The crowds and noise are intense reminders of the things you went through multiple times which are going to forever be trapped in your mind. The battle for you will never end.

You went to war so that I would not have to see the devastation of battle. In hopes of defending us from terrorist foreign or domestic. So you could see your children and grandchildren live the American dream freely.

You and so many before you have left families and friends behind to join and pick up arms to defend us. Some of your brothers passed on in violent ways right before your eyes.

So for all the years I was mad at you for missing my game, award ceremony, the birth of my children, and family events, I am truly sorry for being so ignorant and childish and I forgive you for being absent. I can't ever thank you and all the service members that fought with honor and pride for America enough for your sacrifice. I love you and America.