Life's battle buddies

     I've heard my husband and dad both talk about the importance of battle buddies. Both honorable trained men they would die for and seemingly untrained men that "are going to get someone killed". Either way these service members have to depend on each other to try and make it home alive. Some times that result is out of the hands of their buddies hands, but I've never heard of a service member say oh well suit yourself just get yourself shot. There IS someone their for back up.
     I have never been to war. I cannot compare my life's darkest days to what some of our soldiers have seen.  However, I do have a few battle buddies that have proven no matter what they are my back up. We have been through some scary days together and they never duck tail and ran like so many "friends" have. One even took a beating a few times to protect me. Another has never left me feeling empty and alone even though I'm sure she's rolled her eyes and thought oh my goodness drop the sob story already. One has been my mentor for a very long time now. I respect her opinion and wisdom. The last one lives a life a lot different then mine it's been so many years since our lives went in the same direction but I can call on her any time and she can identify with me and "talk me off the edge" of insanity without a coat of sugar.
     I am not related to any of them by blood nor have they replaced my affection for my mother or sister, but they have been my battle buddies through this life. They have been that hand up when I felt to weak to get up off the floor and dust myself off. Sometimes they gently helped me up and encouraged me to keep going, some times we've stumbled together and fell in the whole. It's a lot easier to get out of a whole when you aren't working alone. Other times it was more like a punch in the face to sober the mind. Nonetheless I've not been alone to struggle in silence in so long that most of the scars from those days have healed.
     They are mothers and sisters in their own right. They have husbands and homes that they are committed to tending. They laugh and cry and have their life roller coasters like everyone else. I try my best to be there for them in anyway possible,  but often feel I can never repay the blessings they have been to my life.
     If you find yourself a battle buddy like mine count yourself among the few blessed people. They deserve your respect and loyalty. It's something you don't just give up cause the path you are walking forks from theirs. We don't talk daily at times not even monthly but I've never doubted that if I reached out to them I would find a hand to help. Y'all rock my world and keep me moving forward. I truly love y'all. 

The American Dream

     Once upon a time the picture everyone saw of the American dream was an upper middle class family dressed nicely, the father wore a button down dress shirt and carried a briefcase.  The mother stayed home, kept the perfect house, wore pearls and heels around the house. The two kids was an older boy head of the varsity football team and the daughter was a cheerleader and prom queen. Some people still see this as the American dream,  others see riches and possessions.
     I have to say I don't see that at all, but I think we've achieved it. Last night we sat out by the fence of the grandstand of the the West Kentucky State Fair watching the fireworks holding my husband's hand while the kids squealed in excitement. This morning I got up, cleaned up some, baking buttermilk biscuits and making sausage gravy while my love built rabbit cages I thought to myself we are working on the American dream, our dream. My house is never "clean". The laundry hamper always has clothes in it. We always live pay check to pay check,  and the Lord knows we are in debt. However, we are a close happy family.  Even on our rockiest days no one thinks of leaving.  We have a roof over our head, good homemade food in our bellies,  running water, electric, warm in the winter, cool in the summer. We laugh more then once a day and make memories together. 
     Even with the future storms unseen and walking out onto uncharted waters we have the American dream.  We love, laugh, and are happiest hand in hand. We have horses, cows, rabbits, dogs, cats, and when we get where ever we are going we have plans for chickens and possibly goats.
     Even though we didn't have money to do the rides or games we had a wonderful time at the fair last night. I miss my oldest two, they would have been in love with it all and the are growing up so incredibly fast. I want to hold them as long as possible and make as many memories as possible so that when they grow up they can say they lived the American dream,  something that most people only see in their minds late at night then wake in the misery they've created themselves.
     We are truly blessed to have an abundance of people that love us and have weathered the chapters of life with us providing they are strong enough to love.
     Now I will be back with y'all when there is time, but our dream needs tending and the dishes are calling me. Be blessed y'all. 

Busy work

     Do you ever find yourself doing so much STUFF but really none of it is necessary?  That about sums up this past weekend, it was enjoyable but not necessary. Friday I went to a friend's house and learned some basic crocheting. Saturday we went to the flea market,  the farmers market, picked up our new rabbit,  and went out to work with our horses. Sunday we went to rual king, tractor supply, and back out to see the horses. To be honest most of that running around wasn't necessary and today I'm making up for it. Lots of cleaning and projects need to be done around here being that today and tomorrow are the only days I will catch a break probably til we go to Texas the beginning of August. I'm in need of a lot less noise in the future. There is a few things I'd like to share with y'all about my weekend.
     Saturday at the flea market we stopped at a booth that was selling some beautiful aprons (one of my obsessions). We were just "window" shopping, but striked up a conversation. At the end of it she handed me a flyer for her shop and said "You seem like the kind of person that would really appreciate reading this". The flyer read:

         Willow Stitch Aprons by Grandee (931) 648-0472

The History of Aprons

I don't think our children know what an apron is. The principal use of Grandma's aprons was to protect the dress underneath but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was used for cleaning out dirty ears. From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids. When the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big aprons wiped many a perspiring brow. Bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen with that apron.

From the garden,  it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to eat.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that old-time apron that served so many purposes.

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool... her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw... some would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron but I can only think that the only thing ever caught from Grandma's apron was genuine love and support. (Author unknown)

Thank you for purchasing an apron - no one in this big world has one exactly like it - I hope it plays a part in making many happy memories.

     This got me thinking about all the wonderful memories of my grandmas. I believe I got the best of both worlds with them.
     My ShaSha (my father's mother) was a very gentle soft spoken woman with a very caring heart. While I really can't remember her in the kitchen very much she took much care into making her granddaughters feel like princesses.  Every time we were there we were treated like royalty.  Manicures,  pedicure,  hair styled, facials, grandma's special shampoo and her special box of toys just for her granddaughters.  She really knew how to make a little girl feel special and pretty.  She was kind to everyone and rarely ever stern. My word to I miss that jewel and wish she was still around for my girls to know her. Her personality was breath taking. 
      My Memaw (my mother's mom) was much more strict of a person but just as valuable of staple in my memory and childhood. She was that grandma that seemed to know everything about everything.  I spent many days watching her work diligently in the garden,  kitchen,  and gathered with us all in the sewing/craft room. I still have not learned as much as I can from her. She is one of the reasons I am excited to move back to Texas. I can't wait to spend holidays and summers with her making all those timeless memories I hope to pass on to my children. As years have passed and I have grown as a person she has become more of a wise companion and less of an authority figure that always told me to eat my food, go to bed, and listen to my mom.
     I wish I had appreciated them both more when I was younger and in the midst of making those sweet childhood memories.
      We did get our new rabbit this passed weekend. She is a pretty gray rabbit with a single white foot and a spunky personality. I think she will be a good fit for our family. 
     After busting behind all morning I finally don't feel like my house is a pig sty even with so much more work to be done. I wouldn't have a heart attack if someone rang the door bell anymore.  I don't expect perfection with our house full, but tripping over toys and more then a sink of dish is out of line in this house.
      It is raining today and I must admit I have greatly enjoyed it. The sounds of it on the roof is soothing and the drop in temperature is very comfortable. It is good for my soul and a stress release. I watched a bright beautiful red cardinal play in a puddle on the drive way and wished I had been out there playing in the water with my kids. I didn't dare to wake my herd from their naps though.
     Now I leave y'all for a while to play with hot wheels, finish my duties,  and enjoy the companionship of my lover.  I hope y'all find peace in y'alls day. Be blessed

Finally a day of rest...

     Today besides making meals and making our rounds feeding and watering the animals and pets we have done NOTHING!  This is such a rare occurrence but we sure needed it. I had to drag my behind to the store, but that's all we got on the agenda. Just piddle with making some lures and pricing leather stamps. Hopefully we will have something to show y'all in the next week or so.

     Tomorrow I've got a photo shoot and I'm excited.  Out in the forest,  I've got a few ideas for it and then we are just going to run with it. I think in the middle of July I'll do a mechanic setup with my bronco. I really like this photographer for independent pictures and she's very affordable. I'm kind of sad she is moving to Hawaii in August.

     My sister sent me a link to a Facebook page where a conversation about parents' putting their teen daughters on birth control. I don't agree with messing with a woman's hormones unless it is to help correct an imbalance, especially a young girl whose body is not fully developed.  Teach them how to make responsible decisions and if they still make a bad judgment call it is not the end of the world. It does make it harder but can still be a blessing. I finally graduated high school at 21 while 6 months pregnant with my 3rd baby. I wouldn't trade the life I have to go back and make sure I wasn't a teen mom. Some of the best (and happiest) moms I know became parents early on. I definitely don't think teen parenthood is a good thing that should be encouraged, but I can see the mixed messages we are sending our youth these days. A lot of teens get treated like trash for getting pregnant yet tv idolizes a lot of the teens that really should not even be called a parent. 

     Anyway! I think I'm going to take a nice long soak in a hot bath and listen to a little Randy Travis. Y'all have a blessed evening and keep on rocking it to that sweet country tune.

A mommy moment :)

     Last night I accidentally left my phone in the car after we got home from working with the horses. Around 8:30 I went to look for it. I realized I had a message from my best friend and her husband and several missed calls from them.  They watch my older two kids when they are in Texas visiting their father when he works.  My heart sank and I feared the worse.  I called them to find out that they had been crying that they missed me and really wanted to talk to me before going to bed. Goodness was I relieved and touched. I miss my babies so much. Just a few more weeks til I have them back with me and I'm hopeful that I'll be in Texas to watch them myself next summer.

     Things are rough right now but we are doing our best to pull through and stay positive. It will all work out. It is going to be October before we can breathe again but it will be worth it to turn the chapter and start transitioning to setting up a new life.

     Yesterday was my mother's birthday.  I called and sang happy birthday to her. I really miss my family.  Hopefully being back in Texas will mean I get to be more involved in all my family's lives.

     Once we get back from Texas in August my love will start the process of transitioning to civilian life. He is hoping to get his resume out and get a good paying job before we get out. A job already inline would take a lot of stress off us.

     Every marriage has its issues.  Lately I've been seeing a lot of marriage suffer and end right in front of me. I sympathise with the people involved,  I was once there. I am over it now,  but that doesn't mean I forgot how bad it hurt then.  It is not just a break up it is the destruction of an entire family unit and it is worth morning over. I pray for their hurts to heal so that they can love and beloved again.  I know I'm blessed to finally be in a happy, healthy marriage and a strong family that loves.

Tomorrow is a new day...

     Today was utterly wretched and made for a lot more uncertainty. I spent a good part of today starring out the window thinking. I didn't even fish when we went out to the marina this afternoon.  We have fallen on hard times again. Seems like everytime things look hopeful we fall.

     However,  tomorrow is a new day. I plan on spending a good part of the morning (after breakfast of course) preparing the flower beds for a garden and with some focus and drive do some planting.  The plans for the afternoon is to go spend sometime with our horses.

     With everything going wrong right now I find it comforting to hear my babies' laughs and see them smile. I hope my bigger two loves are having a great time and comfortable. I love all my babies. Even through the storms I am blessed to have everyone of them in my life and wouldn't change them for the world.

     I am still determined to homeschool them next year. Not only do I think I can give them more personal attention and a better education I am thrilled at the chance to have them home with me and the chance to have a closer knit family.  I have so many ideas and fun activities I'd like to do with them. Coming up with school supplies for a while is going to be a struggle but I'm sure everything will work out one way or another. 

    I have a few ideas that could possibly help out our current dilemma,  but I'm not sure yet. They are all in the brain storming process still. I'm just praying that God will make it clear to me very soon where to go from here now.

Uncertainties

     Well plans for our day changed fast. My husband forgot to take one of the car seats out of his vehicle before leaving to work so the kids and I did laundry and worked in the school room for a good part of the day.

     Change is a very exciting thing that should, to an extent, be embraced with opened arms. Our family loves adventures and we try to look at change as a new journey. Sometimes,  it is not so easy to stay up beat and positive about change.

     For as long as we have been together the military has been part of our family. It is a steady pay check, a support system, and a chapter turner. They have allowed us to see different places and meet many different people.  Our time with the Army is coming to an end though. This time next year the kids and I will be back in Texas waiting for my love to return to us from wrapping things up here.

    The uncertainty of employment and providing for our family makes me very uneasy.  We are struggling now to make it after dealing with the move and everything that comes with it. I've been in worse but promised to never go back to those days. So it truly is leaving me very unsettled. 

     I've never been a go getter when it came to building relationships with people. As much as I'd like to give people the benefit of the doubt I've been burned too many times. It never really mattered in this life though.  If you didn't hit it off with people there just wait 9months to a year. Either you would move or the people around you would. We will be "setting down roots" which means if I don't click with the people I probably won't ever click.

     As uneasy as I am about everything the excitement is bubbling.  We will finally get out of the city and out in to the country with our family, cows, chickens, cat, dogs, horses, and rabbits. It has been our dream from the beginning to raise our kids in the country on our own land growing and building. We want to be able to look back and say hey this is all the way it is because we did it... together...