Well our day is coming to a close. All the kids have been fed, washed, read to, and are presumed to be sleeping. My love has left for work and I've cleaned up the kitchen. I am about to pick up what will be my school room in about two weeks when I shift through all the boxes that are currently being stored in it then pull it together. Currently I'm just sitting here watching my dogs run around the yard while I drink my coffee and thinking.
What does it mean to other women to be a wife? Is it ju jst something to pass your time? Is it a chore? Is it something you just felt was suppose to be such as growing up? Is it a friendship you share with someone? A title? A label? An entitlement?
I was young and confused as to what went into being a wife when I married my 1st husband. We were both to immature to take on a marriage and it all turned sour and left a terrible after taste in our mouths for a good while. I've done a lot of healing and can enjoy life now with the title wife without resentment. I pray he can move passed it one day and settle down.
I married my husband very shortly after my divorce was final. It was about two years from leaving my ex husband to marrying my love. That may not seem like much and I probably still wasn't as ready for marriage as I could have been. The 1st 3 years with my love was a struggle and we both had growing up to do and made mistakes and hurt each other. We did it all together though. We worked together and grew together. We formed an amazing loving friendship. I adorn his last name because I am his, I belong to him and I belong with him.
Our children are amazing and fun little people. We strive to give them wonderful childhoods and raise them to be polite, productive, with ethics and morals, and joys to be around. They bring smiles to our faces and LOTS of sounds to our life. However, when everything is down to the black and white he is the reason I do what I do. He is why I cook, clean, do the laundry, clear the table, sweep, make the bed, mow the yard, do the dishes, etc. The kids don't care if the house is a mess, if they have clean clothes, if we eat cereal 3 times a day, or if the grass comes to their chests. They just care that their tummies are full, that mommy and daddy loves them, and that they have something to smile about.
My love keeps me sane, calm, and loving our life together. In return for all the meaning he brings to my life I do my best to please him and make his life enjoyable. I try to keep him happy, proud of us, I try to make his wants and needs important and possible. I try to keep him smiling and laughing. I try to put him before myself and follow his lead. Because of him daily I try to better myself. If I and good enough for an amazing person like him surely I have worth and meaning in my life. He is my lover. He is my best friend. He is my support system. He is my teacher. He is my confidence at times. Because of him I am a wife.
Our marriage is not perfect. We don't always see eye to eye. We get on each other's nerves, we bicker, we have bad days, and we've made each other cry, but we are WE. Two hearts that became one. No personal identity lost but meaning gained.
Thank you God for putting him on my path to walk together and allowing me to be his WIFE.
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